Someone really smart once said, “If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value”.
I have lived 19 years of my life. For some observers, my life is completely ordinary; for people who are close to me, it’s like an emotional journey, watching me grow and learn, to become a better version of myself.
I’ve always found it interesting to wonder about how different people perceive life in their own special ways. When I think about my perception of life, sometimes it overwhelms me. Those feelings cannot be put into words in real sense. Therefore, thinking too much about it doesn’t always feel normal. However, there is peace in realizing certain things that we normally don’t even pay attention to.
When I look back, I can vividly remember myself daydreaming for most of the time. After all, as a 12 or 13 year old and common school-going girl, when you watch movies like High School Musical, or Princess Diaries, it is natural for you to assume that life is going to be perfect. ‘I will get the most glamorous makeover and everything will fall into place on the magical prom night’. As you grow up, reality starts striking you hard. Everyday appears to be nothing but the same old struggle of forcing yourself out of bed early in the morning, dealing with a bad hair day, gobbling up your breakfast, dragging yourself to school, tuitions after school, doing your homework, preparing for the never-ending exams and then, finally collapsing on your bed, expecting nothing but the same old war of getting through the next day. If I try to look into the future, I can somewhat see that nothing much is really going to change. This might sound a bit “depressing”, but it’s the truth that most of us have to face.
Some things in life are unavoidable, like exams, school, work, paying taxes, falling ill, bad choices, and aging. Hence, we have to live with it. More or less, everyone faces the same struggles. At the end of some of the most crucial chapters of our life, some of us make it big, gain recognition, become legends. Some live a mediocre life, without achieving much. Some are considered just failures.
For most people, like me, who are labeled by the society as ‘average’ or ‘failures’, for having no specific or unusual achievements, we tend to question ourselves about how much do we actually matter? Do our existences make anything different?
Chances are… probably not.
But the thing is, whether it matters or not, we ended up being here. It’s magical in a way… how our consciousness was put inside this vessel that we call ‘a body’, and we were given this unexplainable thing called ‘life’.
There was a point of time till when the vessel was all that mattered to me. Maybe because people pointed out things, that planted the seeds of my insecurities. With time, those insecurities grew into big trees, which cannot be completely rooted out. From the stories I have heard, I can imagine how everyone fight their own battles of self-doubt. But it’s alright to doubt yourself at times. Because if we don’t, how will we highlight growth? Similarly, if we don’t have hard times, how will we understand the value of the good ones?
Everything may not turn out the way how we dreamed they would. No matter how hard we work, there are still possibilities of getting screwed up for unknown reasons. It is because every circumstance is affected by many factors that we are unaware of. Therefore, hard work doesn’t always pay off, as I’ve noticed. Generally, after that when people ask, “What is your dream?”, we become lost.
But the thing is, the beauty of life lies in such kind of imperfection. It’s not about having just one dream. Our life revolves around many things. There are people to meet, places to visit, music to listen, movies to watch, food to eat, jokes to crack, tears to shed, feelings to hide or confess…and a lot more fun to have. We have friends and family to spend time with, we have the classrooms and corridors of our schools, colleges, or offices to create memories in. We have a whole life to LIVE. It is completely normal to feel lost. After all, we are humans living in a competitive world. But it is also important to realize that life is much more than doing just one thing right.
Failures or achieving nothing extraordinary does not make us any less worthy of living a wonderful life. It is up to us about how we sort our priorities and decide what our purpose in life is. Do we want to take risks? Yes…alright, go ahead! No…that is alright too. If the situation you are in is your definition of success, happiness and fulfillment, then we must live in that moment. And we do not have to prove that to anyone else, but only ourselves. Even if we cannot reach out on a bigger scale, we can still help people. We can be good, kind and inspire, if not millions then at least one, because that too has an impact.
It’s okay if many people do not appreciate you, and don’t know you. The beautiful spirit inside that vessel of any colour, shape, size, age, gender, race…only needs to love itself. And that is enough.
So what do you really like?
I like daydreaming, listening to music, watching romantic comedies, staring at the night sky, cuddling my mother, travelling, drawing… and I have many more dreams. I will keep dreaming. So should you. Don’t feel guilty to actually live your life.